Forums > General Discussion   Shooting the breeze...

Merry Xmas

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Created by Glitch > 9 months ago, 18 Dec 2009
Glitch
QLD, 291 posts
18 Dec 2009 11:50AM
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I wanted to start it this year but it is
so difficult in the current climate to know exactly what to say without
offending someone. So I met with my solicitor yesterday, and on his
advice, say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with
respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions
at all.
Also we wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society
have helped make the world a great place, and without regard to the
race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual
preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting
is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with
no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the
wishor to actually implement any of the wishes for himself or others, and
is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion
of the wishor.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application
of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wishor...

Disclaimer:
No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, however, while a
significant number of electrons were inconvenienced, no bits were lost.

Very best wishes, to you, for Xmas and a great 2010.

raggy
VIC, 564 posts
18 Dec 2009 1:14PM
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ill stick with merry christmas and have a happy and safe new year to all you and your familys best winds to you all be it with poles or strings

getfunky
WA, 4485 posts
18 Dec 2009 12:07PM
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Keep the sherry away from Rudolph (hic) and avagoodchrissy everyone.

Good winds, safe travels and a stocking full of windy goods to all (even you n ya Shockers mates Diver ).

Gestalt
QLD, 14437 posts
18 Dec 2009 3:11PM
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merry xmas to all.

that said.

it is a conspiracy you know.

world governments and retailers invented xmas spirit to make us spend at the shops. just another attempt to bleed us dry.

happy new year also!

ADS
WA, 365 posts
18 Dec 2009 1:13PM
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Merry Christmas to all

Diver
WA, 554 posts
18 Dec 2009 2:59PM
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Happy Christmas and fair winds and great waves to all in the New Year.

Cheers for that Funky... I reckon that deep down in your heart there is an Dockers supporter just wanting to break free. Make the move now!!! I'll pretend that nothing ever happened.

longwinded
WA, 344 posts
18 Dec 2009 4:04PM
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A legal establishment of facts regarding Christmas

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as ("I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.

At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co- conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.

Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items.

He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)

Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.

doggie
WA, 15849 posts
18 Dec 2009 4:10PM
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Um that was very longwinded

theDoctor
NSW, 5782 posts
18 Dec 2009 7:18PM
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busterwa
3777 posts
18 Dec 2009 4:43PM
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merry christmas all seabreese people have a safe one on the roads!!!!!!!


if i had these people as neighbors id have to throw a motor cycle chain n the powerlines..;-S

busterwa
3777 posts
18 Dec 2009 5:03PM
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poor relative
WA, 9089 posts
18 Dec 2009 6:29PM
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Happy Xmas from me and my friends

j murray
SA, 947 posts
19 Dec 2009 9:31AM
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Greetings, have a good one or two [}:)] mines a rum !!!!

I have enjoyed your Wit and S*it over the past period

may it remain with you in 2010 could be some fun developments

Sailhack
VIC, 5000 posts
19 Dec 2009 1:18PM
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Hope everyone has a safe and merry xmas

Enjoy every minute with families & friends...

...and I hope we all get what we wished for from santa....WIND!

thommo 000
1670 posts
20 Dec 2009 11:27AM
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Merry Christmas gang, take care of yourselves and your loved ones.

Cheers [}:)]

18to23
WA, 16 posts
20 Dec 2009 12:13PM
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ho ho ho and 7 in a row
merry christmas


18to23
WA, 16 posts
20 Dec 2009 12:14PM
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poor relative said...

Happy Xmas from me and my friends




"...my friends and I"
grammar please

getfunky
WA, 4485 posts
20 Dec 2009 4:47PM
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Diver said...

Happy Christmas and fair winds and great waves to all in the New Year.

Cheers for that Funky... I reckon that deep down in your heart there is an Dockers supporter just wanting to break free. Make the move now!!! I'll pretend that nothing ever happened.


Christmas spirit n all that but let's not get carried away there Diver!

Sorry mate, I kind of enjoy success, besides I haven't got the coin for the compulsory labotomy right now anyhoo. Merry Chrissy and.. "This year is gonna be the one.."



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Forums > General Discussion   Shooting the breeze...


"Merry Xmas" started by Glitch