I have a random thought.
Why dont windsurfing board manufacters, just ditch the vent screw/valve screw and fill the boards with nitrogen :D ?
I know alot of people get their tyres filled with nitrogen when traveling long distances so the compressed moisture/air doesnt expand due to heat. Where you dont have those side effects in nitrogen filled tyres.
So no more complaining about having to do that forgetfull thing when rigging up :P
Man vs wild would try that just so he could fall in and show us all how to escape certain death 
. Why is he called Bear when in his canadian rockies episode he ran all night to escape 1 
I want to run on to a soccer ground in the middle of a game pick the ball up run to one end put the ball down in goal and send the footage into the footy show on league of their own 
is it a coincidence that
Sea. Be our Eczema.
is an anagram of seabreeze.com.au
or that
Beware, Suits Lie
is an anagram of Laurie's Website ?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
But never forget that the skipper is always right - But some days he is more right than others.... 
Also, marriages performed by the Captain are only valid for the duration of the voyage.
I was seeing this girl for a while when one sunday afternoon at a family bbq and numerous beers her father became all serious as he turned to me and said.
Did you know that my daughter has acute angina 
to which i replied i do know that , shes got a great set of tits too 
That is a very odd looking probiscus he has there and as copious as his sperm is, I definitely would not trust it.
I think the fertility clinic would have reservations about it too.
Most lessons are learnt by the end of the day. and not
by the end of the strap..........
Are Stand Up Paddlers the Offspring of Gondoliers.........
do you think the residents on xmas island have little stickers on their cars shaped like the island that say"**** off we're full"?
What's the opposite of opposite?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Is laughing stock cattle with a sense of humor?
If a cow laughed would milk come out its nose?
Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?
If you are a freedom fighter,are you fighting for freedom or fighting agianst it?
If you blindfold an asian person, then spin them around a few times - do they become disoriented?
If you take all the smokers in the world and laid them down in a long line head to toe around the globe, approximately 2/3rds of them could drown.
If a boat is too small to be called a punt but too big to be called a canoe, is it a panoe or a c***?
