Relationship advice needed.

She told me that I don't listen.


Or something like that, I dunno.....

Suggestions?

If she ever says " Mark , I'm tired " that's when you have to start listening, I did'nt know that way back then, I live alone now, great in summer, crap in winter. Hope you were'nt looking for something much more profound than that, it's all I've got for ya. J

Obviously you are not doing a good enough job of pretending to listen.
Try changing the subject when she gets after you, talk about some nonsense she's interested in and she will forget all about you not listening.
A really good shagging will usually make her all lovey dovey for at least a day or two.

As she rambles on pay attention every few minutes for ten seconds or so and immediately throw out any comment you can think of then go back to your business for a few minutes.
If she accuses you of not paying attention say, "I was thinking about what you said" and make make a comment about something you may have accidentally heard her say in the last few minutes.

Listen to everything she says.
Then do the opposite.

given that I have a cross between industrial deafness and selective hearing, my wife now, is conditioned to my "disa" ability or indeed lack of ability to hear let alone listen, its a win /win situation except that now my only crime is "I just don't understand"...

Communication is not rocket science. If she says you're not listening it means
1. you're not listening
2. you are listening but you're failing to follow through
3. she's not actually communicating what she wants to say

You seem like a moderately smart person (when you're not wrong about stuff) so 1 and 3 should be easy to resolve - if it's an important issue make sure you discuss it at a time where both of you can give it your full attention - and if you're not sure what she's trying to say keep on discussing until you do.
Number 2's a bit harder - if she wants something from you that you can't give her - let her know, let her know why and see if there's a compromise. In most cases it's better to do something that makes your partner happy, because then they'll generally reciprocate by doing something nice for you. MOST relationship issues benefit tremendously from at least 1 partner just trying a bit harder.

I find 1's and 2's easy enough. Not sure what a number 3 is though. How hard do I have to push to get one of them out?

This is how it goes in my house.... I'll ask my sammich maker a specific short question requiring a short one sentence answer, her reply will be long and spin off in another direction entirely, when she is finally finished or I can break in somehow, again I will ask the same exact question verbatim, only then will it sink in what I was asking her and perhaps if I'm lucky I'll get my answer.
Who's not listening?