Over weight? exercise.
Depressed? exercise.
Low mood? exercise.
Feeling jaded? exercise.
Bowels not working? exercise.
Stressed? exercise.
Possessed? exorcise.
Cramps? exercise.
Insomnia? exercise.....etc
Agreed with Elbeau (if that's his real name).
We live in a society that thinks that they can get away with watching TV all day, or even eat expensive organic food or take vitamins.
Bottom line is that all species are built to run around all day looking for food (or flee, etc.). Most people are completely inactive compared to what their body plan was laid out for. Hence all the consequences we know.
Here is an anecdote: when I was surfing full-time, that sort of stuff, all of us mates would eat dirt and ** and hamburgers and chips year-around. We'd go out 6 nights a week, have beer and just about sleep in the gutter. Yet we'd surf and windsurf all day like crazy, we were in a great shape and were never sick. Bar the odd STD for some.
Over time, most of us settled, you know, married life, using utensils when eating, balanced diet, good sleeping habits. And exercise dropped to next to nothing for most, except mowing the lawn. Guess what: with all the fancy eating and all, everyone started getting sick. Ear infections, colds, flus, back pain, strep throat, that sort of stuff. Would happen within the first year of settling.
There is no panacea: just walking around the block once a week, or dieting on supposedly healthy food, nothing can make up for sport and regular, strenuous exercise.
Over weight? Windsurf
Depressed?Windsurf
Low mood? Windsurf
Feeling jaded? Windsurf
Bowels not working? Windsurf
Stressed?Windsurf
Possessed?Windsurf
Cramps? Windsurf
Insomnia? beer.....etc
Lose at tennis---windsurf.
Lose at tennis to cheat---family block of rum/raisin dark chocolate.
depressed---windsurf or keep occupied.
insomnia---dream yourself to sleep sailing your fav board/sail.
you are a fat ****---windsurf.
can't get it up---windsurf.
can't find/get a wife---windsurf.
no money to get a pro---windsurf.
Some additions:
Whether it's buying real estate or sex don't forget it's about" position, position, position"
since its been posted about sex, health, tips and pro's this joke seems appropriate
what did the leper say to the prostitute after having sex?
keep the tip!
boom! boom!
while im on a roll...
what do you call a yogaslave prostitute
sloberallovermycochubich
.
thankyou, im here all week!
Never eat yellow snow.
OR
Desiderata:
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann c.1920
Sometimes in life, the best advice is to not give a sh** about anything at all. Somehow when you do, life seems so much easier and things become a lot clearer.
