Quotes

Stay afloat on the reality boat.

One sup is never enough - Laceys Lane

God created heaven and Earth in 6 days , on the seventh Naish - DJ

Why slash when you can Hack - Dogman

Blessed are the Cheese makers I'm simply referring to the manufactures of Dairy Products.

"I believe that our thoughts have real, powerful effects on us. For instance, let's say you wake up one morning in a rotten mood. You don't know why, but you're just looking for a fight. Well, in my experience, the moment you walk out your front door you're going to find someone who wants to fight you back. He'll probably be standing right there. On the other hand, if you're just thinking about enjoying yourself, you're probably not running into a lot of complications. Everything comes down to attitude: You determine what yours is and the external world will reflect it back.

"Whether it's good news or bad news depends on you – on your outlook. If you think you're not able to do something, guess what? You're right. What if you believe that everything's for the best and see the beauty all around you, and you have faith that things will be good? You're right, too. If you cultivate something in your mind, you give it a life. It really is that simple."

Laird Hamilton

Many a fine tune played on an old fiddle.

Do, or do not, there is no "try"... Yoda

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've
been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again
in my life. And that is why I succeed. - Michael Jordan

Help Me Please Mr Wizard

Tooter

"In theory, there should be no difference between theory and practice, but in practice, there is"
- Sheldon Brown

Confucius says; Man who go to bed with itchy bum wake up with smelly finger.

today is a good day to crush your enemy under the heel of your boot and then listen to the lament of their women

Genghis Kahn
I ** you not :)

Assumption is the mother of all f@#k up's.
Stephen Segal in some crap movie I can't remember the name of.
True though!!

Homer is a philosopher


Boy if you don't like your job, you don't complain you just turn up every day and do it really half arse, that's the American way..

And...

Homer... Are we going to die..

Yes boy but atleast were going to take a lot of innocence people with us...


And who could forget

Spidy pig Spidy pig, does whatever a Spidy pig does, does he swing from web? No he can't he's a pig. Spidy pig...


And a few random others....

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.






When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!


Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.

Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?


Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Homer no function beer well without.

I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.

All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.


Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.

Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.

That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!

Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing

I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?