15 best jokes from Edinburgh fringe festival

1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change." - Ken Cheng
2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book." - Frankie Boyle
3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" - Alexei Sayle
4. "I'm looking for the girl-next-door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her." - Lew Fitz
5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated." - Andy Field
6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant." - Mark Simmons
7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it." - Jimeoin
8. "I have two boys, five and six. We're no good at naming things in our house." - Ed Byrne
9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine." - Olaf Falafel
10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!'" - Alasdair Beckett-King
11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event." - Angela Barnes
12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer." - Adele Cliff
13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it." - Phil Wang
14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark." - Adam Hess
15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act." - Tim Vine

They all seem to be puns - What's your favourite (or do you have a better one)?

2cows in paddock, one says to other. R u scared of mad cows desiease? Second cows says why should i ,im a helicoptor

What car does an electrician drive.......... Volts wagon

A farmer had 198 cows in his field but when he rounded them up he had 200

I had to quit my job at the shoe recycling factory it was sole destroying

I'm going to start a business collecting all the old dried up leaves I'll be raking it in!!

I went to the.zoo the other day but there was only one animal there it was a ****zu

I saw the Libyan Military Band greeting Boris Johnson