Forums > General Discussion   Shooting the breeze...

Why do people back stab?

Reply
Created by jimbo76 > 9 months ago, 25 May 2014
jimbo76
WA, 46 posts
25 May 2014 10:01PM
Thumbs Up

Without going into detail of my current employer or location, why do some people feel they have a need to back stab their co-workers? I'm at a loss to even provide reasoning around it. What is the true mentality behind it? is it to climb some greasy pole? jealousy? or do some people just get a kick out of it? Do they not realise the damage it does to all future working relationships you will have with them?
I have just got of a lengthy a/h phone call to my employers regarding a co-worker who recently visited our remote site who was nice as pie whilst he was here only to backstab not only myself but the rest of my work-colleagues (yes i differentiate/classify personnel as either a co-worker, work colleague or work mate) onsite as soon as he could despite our efforts to make him feel welcome. Now on top of my 12hr day I will be spending the next 3-4 hrs preparing a report when all I want to do is have some sleep which now won't happen because I'm too pissed off and have to compile a report.

Mark _australia
WA, 22414 posts
25 May 2014 10:41PM
Thumbs Up

cos backstabbing is easier than to take them on face to face.
If it is a real issue they should tell you straight to your face.
The gutless option is easier, pure n simple.

Subsonic
WA, 3125 posts
25 May 2014 10:53PM
Thumbs Up

It not at all a nice thing to do to people you work with...

What relationship does the backstabber have to you in relation to the company? Boss? Or on a level footing? I presume they highlighted something they didn't like on the trip if you got a call from the employers?

Some people are ladder climbers though. They don't care who or what gets hurt on their way to the top...

mineral1
WA, 4564 posts
25 May 2014 11:22PM
Thumbs Up

Normally termed "seagulls" fly in **** on ya, and fly out.
Possibly has some superior attitude syndrome, and you were all just scumbags on site to ol mate.
Feels that his directive was to appraise systems and such on site, but in his childish mind, that meant his approach was like an ol school principal, and he is far superior to any of your group.
Pandering to him probably re-enforced his views, sadly.
For mine, dont complete the report, see what the outcome is. One on One face off to whoever you are doing report for will nip it in the bud.

kat75
WA, 109 posts
26 May 2014 12:26AM
Thumbs Up

Sometimes I think people like to make crap up to get workers comp or payouts. I know a company that sacked a girl for being well just useless and slack. She made stuff up and cost company a court case. Seriously some people just get a kick out of creating misery. Hopefully your report sorts it.

Dezman
NSW, 818 posts
26 May 2014 5:18AM
Thumbs Up

Well who said 'all is fair In love and war' is right and likely the winner of such games.

If you've done nothing wrong then no fear, stand your ground and let the **** fly.

Being nice to the guy is what is hurting you! He is just doing what's in his nature, you are the one hiding
Your true feelings.
Being two faced with an expectation he will be nice to you, patronising him has reinforced his position and
He may think you are just some piece of **** on his boot that does not have the back bone to stand up to him.

I know I'm being tough but welcome to the real world.

SandS
VIC, 5904 posts
26 May 2014 7:32AM
Thumbs Up

As__

busterwa
3777 posts
26 May 2014 7:28AM
Thumbs Up

Take it with a pinch of salt.

People like that are unhappy with themselves but seem to blame everyone else.
Mabe there was a human factor i.e lack of sleep and he vented. Happens in all work places.

Chin up! Bow your head take it like a boomer then brush it of like water on a ducks back. ~sticks and stones!

Even though you may not like going to work the easiest way to enjoy it is to get along.

I guess if this person continue`s the back stabbing he will be sitting alone at smoko! This will effect him more than you!!

Ctngoodvibes
WA, 1403 posts
26 May 2014 7:47AM
Thumbs Up

I wear a Teflon coat in my job. **** is always thrown by incompetent clowns but it just slides right off. In my experience people like the clown you just described are normally found out and no one ends up wanting a bar of them. So don't stress brother.

Sailhack
VIC, 5000 posts
26 May 2014 10:07AM
Thumbs Up

Some people are insecure and think that the only way they will receive any sort of recognition for their work is if their colleagues are seen as not being as competent as them, so they bad-mouth everyone else in order to raise their status...human nature in many cases. Promotions are gained for such scumbags in poorly ran companies (look to Canberra as a perfect example ).

I've worked with only a few people like this, although mainly ones that don't take responsibility for their poor form and let the axe fall on someone else's neck. Funnily enough - they soon get caught out and most 'good' managers and employers are fairly experienced with this sort of stuff so can spot it a mile off (which sounds like what has happened if they called you).

It will never change, and you're best to not play their game or get bitter about it. Just keep your distance, do your work and let them dig their own graves.

myusernam
QLD, 6124 posts
26 May 2014 11:03AM
Thumbs Up

be sure to put in your report that it would have been nice if the person addressed any concerns whilst there face to face etc.
have a respectfull and professional snipe at their unprofessionalism in the report.

whippingboy
WA, 1104 posts
26 May 2014 9:21AM
Thumbs Up

I am constantly in this situation, I now carry a note book and keep a diary of all interactions with other employees and who was present and witnesses any interaction.
Any changes or decisions made I also document and have signed off. Pain in the A@@# but in the modern work environment, and the calibre of people employed you've got to cover yourself.

Some of my 'colleagues' are so bad that I won't even interact with them unless there is a 3rd party witness present.

Welcome to the modern workplace

theDoctor
NSW, 5780 posts
26 May 2014 11:38AM
Thumbs Up


Sycophantic nepotism.. The grease that lubricates the internal working structure of the mining company I have been with since '95.

I used to play the game, make the effort, be part of the purple circle.

It's just not worth my dignity or sanity.
I try and keep work life and real life as separate as possible. ..

Mark _australia
WA, 22414 posts
26 May 2014 2:16PM
Thumbs Up

Select to expand quote
myusernam said...
be sure to put in your report that it would have been nice if the person addressed any concerns whilst there face to face etc.
have a respectfull and professional snipe at their unprofessionalism in the report.



Yep - and especially if there was false accusations or assumptions on their part, turns the whole thing around so the boss will know his time and yours would not have been wasted if the 'dobber' just asked you at the time in person

jbshack
WA, 6913 posts
26 May 2014 2:36PM
Thumbs Up

Why do people back stab?

Mostly because they are too gutless to be upfront and be honest. If you disagree with something than they should say it directly. But most are to gutless and do it behind your back.

Its similar to how many people act differently on a forum, compared to face to face..Same spineless type IMHO

I'd put in your report that you were surprised that he had said nothing to you on site. That he had nothing but praise and you now question his ethics and standards that he has done such a complete about face. Try and put it back onto him..

Luckily for me the only thing i don't want reported to my parter is what i have for lunch

jn1
2454 posts
26 May 2014 6:18PM
Thumbs Up

Jimbo: Various reasons. How I deal with this is: I go to work. I get paid money. This supports my hobbies and my life style. I don't care if I'm made to look incompetent. I get paid $X to be an Electronics Tech, and %Y to deal with f*******g c**k munchers. I sometimes have to repeat this to myself in the mirror at the end of the day

As for bringing this up here, this is no good. Find a friend and bounce your experience off them. You might be surprised at a solution coming from somebody with different angle on things, particularly if it started out as a simple misunderstanding that has escalated.

PS/ Life is too short to loose sleep over stuff like this.

ok
NSW, 1088 posts
26 May 2014 9:17PM
Thumbs Up

why do people go to the internet to vent the real life problems?

SAY SOMETHING TO THEM ! if there to gutless to say something to your face in the first place they are even more scared of actual confrontation.

Mark _australia
WA, 22414 posts
26 May 2014 7:30PM
Thumbs Up

^^^ 11pm onsite somewhere? Not many ppl to talk to

And I would not run with your suggestion, asking for a workplace bullying complaint.

Unhook3d
WA, 467 posts
26 May 2014 7:55PM
Thumbs Up

Select to expand quote
myusernam said...
be sure to put in your report that it would have been nice if the person addressed any concerns whilst there face to face etc.
have a respectfull and professional snipe at their unprofessionalism in the report.


What he said.
I'd even go as far as phoning them up myself and asking them what their problem is/was.

SandS
VIC, 5904 posts
26 May 2014 9:56PM
Thumbs Up

you could always play this song to the back stabber


saltiest1
NSW, 2496 posts
27 May 2014 4:45PM
Thumbs Up

they have a small pee pee?
see you as a threat?
see you as inferior?
they are insecure?
its all they know what to do to get ahead?
you are a tool and don't know it?

workplaces are so constrictive these days as to telling people what you think of them. it sucks.

landyacht
WA, 5921 posts
27 May 2014 9:12PM
Thumbs Up

i would suggest getting it all out and sorted with your manager /employer asap
i had one bad job years ago where i was constantly in the bush , and the office staff and junior feildies must have sat around bitch whenever i wasnt there.
after 9 months i couldnt get through that they needed to pull their finger out and wrote out a performance report on the crew for the boss.
. the office staff must have got wind from a copy in my work computer as the next day i had to sit through a 2 hr earbashing from the boss, where it had all been turned around.
I was then asked to go hame have a long lunch break and think about a point by point response.
had a great lunch at home , took all my tools and gear out of the work 4x and cruised back to the office half hour late with a resignation letterand the keys.
. i rode a bike home from the office that day like i was king of the world, .
the next job i had was working with FWT drillers and offsiders , they knew it i knew it ,so easy to do your job



Subscribe
Reply

Forums > General Discussion   Shooting the breeze...


"Why do people back stab?" started by jimbo76