After yesterdays big fire in Joondalup being caused by some bloke burning a patch of ground to supposedly make space for his tent - I wouldnt recommend the petrol down the ant nest procedure.
How about buying yourself a bottle of ant killer and pouring a little down the hole instead.
Not as exciting as petrol - but a touch safer.
stephen
Done the petrol down the hole no probs. All done safely and there's nothing to catch on fire there anyway. Good thing is when I went there a nest of small black ants had made a nest about 1 foot away from the bullants so after I knocked the black ant nest into the bullant nest and it look like they are going to take over. Go black ants.
So your telling us that you just poured 20 ltrs of petrol on GOVERNMENT/STATE/FEDERAL whatever land, and lit it, right by the Swan river ?. I'm sure some people would like to have a chat with you.
Poor precious you that the natural insects "MAY" possibly annoy you after you've been trampling over their natural habitat umpteen times.
I really hope you are just trolling mr bones.
To my mind, just petrol down the hole will sort out the ants. No need to light it. 
Makes sense
Unless you are a WW1 fighter pilot who wants the bush on fire cos 'when I go down, I go down in flames...'
Well VB man, next time I find a bullant nest I'll tell you where it is and you can dig it up and put it in your back yard. Also you gotta light up the petrol because it burns to nothing leaving no pollution behind. Now the black ants can move in.
The only thing you should pour down the ant hole is molten lead, then dig it out, hose it off, and sell it for big $$$$.
Beat this.
So this just happened. Shutting up work, walking through the carpark, chatting to one of my employee's about future work etc, and we are standing by her car. As we are standing by her car and talking, I see "old mate" out of the corner of my eye. You know old mate....you can just tell something is about to happen with this dude. He's not much older than me, kinda surfy looking, no shoe's, tatted up, yelling at the clouds. He looks in our direction and goes " ****ing help a dude out, I'm ****ing wigging out maaaaan".
That statement right there had me knowing this will be good. I mean it's still daylight at this stage. Wanders over with his laptop bag that appears to be carrying his thongs ? and dumps the bag on the bonnet. "hey man, i'm ****ing ****ed up and ripping on LSD and I cant communicate with the people in the pizza shop, could you go buy me a pizza?" "um..yeah nah I like, kinda know those people, and work here and stuff and.........hey man, you okay?" "aww man I just ate bulk lsd and I'm tripping balls and **** , hey! at least its not meth right? I'm from margies, I'm a ****in surfer maaaaannnn and I came down to see my kid and ****, and If anyone touches him I'll like tear thier ****ing heads off aye, but I got like $4.75 so can I buy a smoke off you". I decide to avert away from my stunned employee, and said " your right mate, you can have one, my cars over here..." We go to my car and my team member speeds away. I get to the car sit in the drivers seat while he says some equally spectacular ****.
This is where it gets good.
I'm rolling old mates smoke, give it to him, and as he stands up, he's like " **** its the cops aye? its all good its all good ", then proceeds to yell at them. I can see clearly that the reason that they are in the carpark is definately related to my new friend, and they do a u turn and block me in. So here I am thinking what the **** just happened? I just left work, ready to go home to help a friend with a job. Now I've got a level 7 LSD dealer who has sampled too much of his own product, and I'm now blocked in by cops, with this guy looking like my mate. He goes over and says gday and has a good old chat with them, and says he is pissed as ****. I dont know, but it seemed like the cops had dealt with him previously, as they were extremely cool. I ask out my door if they can move, as I have to go, and they can sort old mate out with out me.
This is when the cop calls me by name. I'm like " uhhhh yeaaahh...why? I get out of the car ready to declare full and utter innocence if old mate is caught with 100 lsd tabs and pulls out a gun, I met the dude like 3 mins ago, I've just walked out of my place of employment into this. He cooly says he thinks I have an unpaid fine, I walk over to the car and talk to the passenger, while I can hear old mate trying to contain his **** to the driver. Turns out I did actually have a small speeding fine. I said what a good driver I'd been, as I could see the screen, and my last driving fine was 15yrs ago lol, and he agreed. But it turns out, because i didnt know about the fine and it lapsed, my licence is suspended. **** I'm thinking - this is the most action packed 5 mins ever. But mad props to the police that were there. Old mate simply walked off evntually, they never even got out of the car.
I spent the next 10 mins with the passenger and thanked him, as I was actually glad to find out this way rather than at a later date. Changed my address around and sorted some stuff for me, said i could go home and pay it online. I was thinking..um how am I going to get home if its suspended? but the cop must of seen this and went " look mate, we dont want to bother hardworking people like yourself, I wont be back to the station for a good hour, just pop home and pay it online" He then proceeds to show me on his mobile phone how and where to log on, and how to pay it, and gave me my reference number to make it easy, while old mate driver smiled and waved at old mate, who had now jay walked across the highway and was high as a kite
Select to expand quoteMastbender said..
The only thing you should pour down the ant hole is molten lead, then dig it out, hose it off, and sell it for big $$$$.
I have heard of aluminium being used, cheaper than lead - almost as easy to use.
Select to expand quotesn said..Mastbender said..
The only thing you should pour down the ant hole is molten lead, then dig it out, hose it off, and sell it for big $$$$.
I have heard of aluminium being used, cheaper than lead - almost as easy to use.
That would be couple of hundred kilos of lead! must be aluminium for sure!
Took a Sickie
Cause I felt like I needed it
Friend called me up, let's go see a movie
Boss and son turn up
Sit in row right in front of us
Select to expand quoteR0CKH0PPER said..
Beat this.
So this just happened. Shutting up work,...............
holly **** this is gold
best read ive had inahwhile
Select to expand quotetheDoctor said..
Took a Sickie
Cause I felt like I needed it
Friend called me up, let's go see a movie
Boss and son turn up
Sit in row right in front of us
man you need to take control of your life man. your son should not be watching movies with your boss.
Probably shouldn't refer to your wife as "boss" either.
If your mate finds out he might un-mate you for being a pussy
I nearly got done by the cops.
I was tripping off my head today and couldn't talk to the pizza shop people so I tried to get this guy to go buy it for me. He was kinda chatty so I was having a smoke in his car when the cops rock up. I bullsheeted them that I was pissed and they believed me, huh I had twenty tabs and some meth. Well it turns out I wasn't the only lucky one cause the guy in the car had unpaid speeding fines and no license , anyways the cops let him drive home.
Still not sure if it really happened though cause the guy in the car had like a head of a Labrador and I couldn't understand what he was barking about. The cops were dressed as Darth Vader. Real or not I dunno?
Select to expand quoteHarrow said..
I ran some Monte Carlo simulations.
What outcome did you predicted due to the intervention of random variables. 
Select to expand quoteHarrow said..
I ran some Monte Carlo simulations.
Really is it that difficult to decide when to cut your lawn?
Select to expand quoteCraig66 said..
My telstra mobile phone stopped working so I couldn't make voice calls 
That is a regular event not random.
My Telstra mobile phone worked perfectly! 
So I could call the cops to come and check 2 peeps acting strangely in a car parked rite in front of my local pizza shop!
Talkin to a mate, he had a mate who is a tranny and went down to a fishing spot with some pizza, tried to pick up some fella.
A kangaroo randomly tried to occupy the same piece of road-space as my car. That was not a good decision by the kangaroo; my car was travelling at 110 kph. The outcome for the kangaroo was not pretty.
The kangaroo probably thought it had an affinity with my car, because my car's a Subaroo.
Select to expand quoteCraig66 said..Harrow said..
I ran some Monte Carlo simulations.
What outcome did you predicted due to the intervention of random variables.
Glad someone understood my absolutely hilarious post. 
I own a regional Pet cremation business, and coming home yesterday got stopped on highway for random police check, all the usual stuff, there must have been 8 police cars all the boys doing their job.
My officer in finishing up randomly asks, 'what you got in the back?'
"Dead bodies', I say
****
suddenly everything went quiet.... "step out of your vehicle with hands in the air'
'Let Me ex.."
'Shud up...just do what I say'
trying to get out of the vehicle and being aware there were now about 6 officers all standing watching and hands sitting close to their holsters and thinking this is either going to be messy or he is going to look real stupid.
my vehicle is a falcon ute with custom fiberglass back end with gull wing doors.
'Open it up'
again I try to say something only to be shut up. OK I think your going to look stupid
I open up the door and their are 40 black plastic body bags of various sizes
'what the hell is that?'
'Dead bodies' I say, there are cats, rabbits and dogs of various sizes, here is my business card, if you had let me talk you wouldn't be standing there looking so stupid'.
He went red in the face and other cops were just about wetting themselves.
Select to expand quotefelixdcat said..
My Telstra mobile phone worked perfectly! So I could call the cops to come and check 2 peeps acting strangely in a car parked rite in front of my local pizza shop!
i keep getting call outs for stupid crimes that allways envolve the same damn outcome. anyways i was off duty on way to comiccon but no other officers were in the area so i get called into this pizza shop and sure enough its another prank call. everytime its the same thing allways a gibbering idiot hippy and a dog theres ALLWAYS a dog involved. allmost like the prank caller has something against them or something.
bloody cats
