jquigley reminded me of a few old Con****ius Says you may enjoy.
hope you like.
*Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on whole woman have more.
*It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
*Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.
*Baseball all wrong -- man with four balls cannot walk.
Man who go to bed with itchy bottom, wake up with smelly finger.
Man who walks through airport door sideways, not necessarily going to Bangkok.
If a kiteboarder does a huge jump, and nobody saw it, did it really happen?
Don't be silly. A kiteboarder would never do a jump with nobody to see it. 
Con****ious say...
Chinese man looking for quick buck end up losing local beach
man who sell insurance should not sell kite
man who piss in public should not teach learner
Con******ius say he remember wisdom from old school days:
Man who have sex with woman on top, is sure to f^ck up
