Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.......
Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
An old sea captain was sitting on a bench near the wharf when a young man walked up and sat down. The young man had spiked hair and each spike was a different color.... green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
The young man noticed that the captain was staring at him.
"What's the matter old timer—never done anything wild in your life?"
The old captain snorted. "Got drunk once and married a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son!"
Aarrr!
Why did the sailboat sink while tied to the dock?................
.......Pier pressure!
Did you know you can tell the difference between male and female ants by dropping them in a glass of water?
If it sinks - girl ant. If it floats - boy ant!!
Select to expand quotesamsturdy said..
I'm sure that's HG and his H28.
Absolute Sam 
