Well it was the time for the old Prostate Poke caper 
so off I trundled (( fearfully coz I farken hate surgeries & hospitals nowadays I truly do )) to my Quack's Palace of Pain ..... when I arrived I gleefully noted that he had an Intern/Trainee , or whatever the fark you call 'em , in tow .... not too foul on the eyeballs either this chick really - which made my outlook even more sh!tty "great stuff" I thought .... "now this smokin' hot chicky's gonna see my arsehole in all it's magnificent star-shaped glory" "farken awesome .... not" 
So they frogmarch me into the old fart's oracle .... "drop yer strides champion" the old fart says I cannot even glance at chicky Intern just farken can't onto the slab the Pup goes "OK this won't take long" says old fart BUT something magnificent happens 
My cheeks just would not part ... I was just so tensed up the old Eye in the Lower Sky had slammed shut I just couldn't do it , my arse wasn't having a bar of it no matter what they tried & even better the chicky Intern was giggling
I am Farken stoked .... my arse has done me proud 
nothing going up my clacker .... thankyou Lord I owe ya a beer or three 
Bonus: I had the blood test & came back farken squeaky clean .... farken squeaky clean you bewdy 
I am still a virgin Farken stoooooooooked
Yes it's ironic when they tell you to "just relax", well I can honestly say "Relaxation" is the last thing I'm going to do.
Select to expand quoteCobra said..
Did he dim the lights and play some barry white.
no, they played' moon river'
Haaa farken haaaa geez I can just hear Boof & Mick sitting out there sayin' .... "Wuss ... you farken Wuss Pup" ..... yair well one thing I do know is I could NOT be a nursey .... geez poking round starfishes & the likes for a coin bugger that caper
Pup who are you trying to fool,you enjoyed every second on it
SP the problem being the Mango was already inserted 
That's Classic PUP story...he of the Mango insertation..haha
I remember the first time I had it done the quack did no foreplay ..just wham bam thank you sam...and I gave him the macho response.."Geezus..no way I could be a ****" not that there's anything wrong with that !..he said nought....on that note old mate suggest I get him next time to insert 2 fingers..I ask why...he said..for a second opinion..
BUT..on a more serious note..get yourselves checked out..blood test is one thing, but digital + PSA is best...I have a good mate going through the ropes as we speak..his in for a haul..
Pup, I'm in admiration of both your humor and your chastity, you are a man of prudent morals 
and congratulations on, at the very least, passing the PSA test even though it should be reinforced with the digital examination
But you're not setting a very good example for the others 
Better luck next time
See you if can get in a bit of practice
so you didn't have to pay then ?
really, come on, what a sook ..............take it like a man !!!!
yeah yeah yeah .... all of that but they'll get me eventually I'll get a female quack when I get up there
Select to expand quoteMacaha said..
Pup you've heard of the expression,Tight Arse
champion the bars at Pentridge got nuthin' on my butt cheeks be farked if I know how the poophs do that caper 
