I'm sure every ones got a good story... lets make a thread that we can all smile at for the festive season and write up some of our more silly sailing disasters ..... I'll start, I think this is my best.
A mate and I in our single days take out two darlings for a Sunday sail on my Spacesailor 24 at the time. Beautiful day, gentle breeze, get back to mooring just after sunset. A few ales and glasses of wine consumed during the afternoon. All good, and I had high hopes for mine after getting cuddly on the boat.
After securing the mooring at the end of our sail we all get in my tiny 2m single seat dinghy and start slowly paddling for shore with 6" free board. All talking about our great day. My date is getting friendlier and closer as my mate and his girl crouched up front paddle us in and we take the opportunity to do a bit of canoodling. Boating is very romantic and the people paddling up front can't see what we're doing on the back seat. Things are looking very good until suddenly I feel this icy cold water on my lower back. At that instant my date says &*#&^( we're sinking!! I didn't know nice girls could swear like that. I think we took a small wave over the stern combined with being distracted.
The dinghy went down stern first and instantaneously we were all swimming surrounded by eskies, floating runners, cushions, shoes and expensive handbags. Yup my mate and I on our first date with these two girls had chucked them in!
There's worse. On the shore was a 21st birthday bash in a park. We were their free entertainment. We swam to shore amid cat calls, yahoos and cheering. When we made it to the beach at least we got applause. The girls looked really good with the wet look but they weren't smiling!!!
I never saw my date again and my mates went off and married someone else :-) 
Next story please!
We pulled out of a major ocean race with a variety of middle-range boat problems. In a perfect nor'easter on the first day we'd been surfing downhill with baroque music blasting from the cockpit speakers. By the time we bent the boat in the southerly and turned around things, had degenerated to the stage where we were singing along to Kevin Bloody Wilson as we surfed back to Sydney.
On the way up the harbour we raided the drinks cabinet and got the top half of the mainsail down from the masthead. By the time we got back to mooring it was dark, the drink had run out and things were getting desperate. Worse still, the dinghy had been taken off the mooring and put back on shore.
I volunteered to swim across in the blackness from the mooring to get the dinghy. The second I hit the drink I sobered up completely and the fear of sharks hit me. Just as quickly my undies, the only things I was wearing, left me - swept down my legs and away as I dived. Swimming faster and quieter than Thorpey I made the shoreline and emerged from the harbour - into the glare of the spotlights of a large formal party on the waterfront lawn of the Hunters Hill mansion next to the dinghy rack. As the conversation froze I ran up to the dinghy, starkers, unlocked it with the key (still clutched firmly in one hand), and backed down the water, holding the dinghy in front of me as the world's biggest modesty panel.
Problem was, there were no oars. The only thing I could do was bend over the front of the dinghy, naked, and dog paddle directly away from the madding crowd onshore. "Waiter" I could hear the host call "get me a double scotch, and my best shotgun...."
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Hahahahaha!!!!!!! Priceless....thanks guys, they both brought a tear to my eye :)
Love it Chris!
I'm revving up some friends to join the forum and tell theirs. One sailed miles the wrong way because of a magnetized screw driver, another bashed the front of his boat demonstrating how to come alongside a jetty with an audience watching, another dropped his running outboard off the back of his boat, another 120kg skipper in his bosuns chair lost his grip on the mast and wound up swinging around while his boat rolled hugely (we considered leaving him up there it was so funny), another got off his boat at the jetty on the wrong side with his guitar..... splash ...
More stories please people don't be shy!
I'll add this one in here.
I've always admired the skills of those who can sail into their berth. My marina is accessed via a small lock so its not really possible even if I had the skills.
On one occasion while single-handed I decided to sail up the lock and drop the sail while waiting for the gate to open. All my halyards are at the base of the mast but I was feeling confident. Winds were about 10 knots on the beam, as I sailed into the entrance of the marina & lock. I was feeling fairly chuffed with myself as people from the marina restaurants were lined up taking photos of my gaff rigged boat under full sail. I dropped the jib, and then began lowering the main as I pulled along the wall at the lock entrance. The wind had me drifting very close to the wall as usual, but my fenders were set.
Unfortunately there were million dollar houses along this seawall, with glass fences above the wall. Lowering my main allowed the gaff to swing out over these fences. After rattling the glass a few times I eventually managed to play out the gaff & main halyards while hanging off the sail to pull it windward without smashing anything, But I certainly wasn't feeling as cool as I was a few minutes earlier. Another lesson learned.
Very funny stories indeed....
When we first got our Top Hat, the anchor was permanently on the one and only bow roller. The previous owner used to run the mooring line through the v of the bow rail, a poor idea as we found out later. The anchor chain was coiled in the anchor locker on the foredeck, and there is a clip inside the locker to keep the anchor on the roller, with a pin across the roller cheek.
On our first ever sail after buying the boat, we dropped our mooring at Gladesville and sailed up under the harbour bridge. Being a Saturday arvo it was really busy. The short sharp chop, and very light NE wind meant slow going past Kirribilli house. All of a sudden we copped a couple of boat washes from two sides, forcing the bow into the water, lifting the anchor off the roller momentarily. The anchor chain went slack, then pulled with a jerk and in one switt motion the clip opened and the anchor started to slide. The force bent the other pin and before I could say S%#T the anchor started for the bottom. This of course was very embarrassing, but thankfully not seen by many but the fishermen on Milsons Point.
Needless to say, the anchor is now stowed below until needed, but can still be deployed quickly if necessary. One of these days I'll get a double roller, or a fairlead set up for double mooring lines fitted so the anchor can live where it needs to be.
maybe not as funny as some as the others...
We grew up with trailer sailers, and after 20 or 30 goes, you get into your way of doing things and get pretty smooth and efficient.
So normal scenario would be we rig up at the local ramp with the fisho's, I'd have the bow and stern line in hand, dad would reverse the 20fter down the ramp, I'd walk alongside on the pier, a good tap on the brakes of the Landy, and off she'd roll, Dad would drive off and then it's all sweet. How cool do we look.
We had promised an elderly neighbor to take him for a sail.
The date was set.
He was pumped.
The whole street knew of the impending momentous occasion.
It was going to be epic.
So we get to the ramp, rigged up, etc etc. All good as normal.
Dad starts reversing, I'm walking along the pier, lines in hand.
"Let me take that rope from you young man' or words to that effect( I was about 12) insists the neighbor, and before I knew it, he has the stern line.
Boat shoots off, then for some reason I see the stern swing around.
The elderly gent must have focused on the boat and walked straight off the end of the jetty, a fall of perhaps 6 or 8 feet.
He lost his glasses, ended up dripping wet, and never got the sail.
MichaelR thanks for anchor story :-) Im glad Im not the only who has had anchor troubles ....
I anchored at one time in a narrow spot at Mayor Island in NZ. It was blowing heaps. Come to think of it in NZ its always blowing heaps. Speaking of that, in a marina at Tauranga I thought my boat had something drastically wrong as it had been listing to port for days. When I checked it out there was nothing wrong with the boat it was the constant 20kt breeze. When the boat was turned around in its berth she listed to starboard.
Anyway - after the bow anchor was down and secure I decided we should throw out our stern anchor as well to make sure the stern of the boat didn't blow onto very nearby rocks. The other purpose of this was so I could actually sleep instead of the usual keeping one eye open all night. My gallant crew made it to the back of the boat amongst the wind and rain. In went the anchor, splash, then loud fast running chain. Eeek too late to tell the beginner crew to drop it slowly. Then there was a second splash as the end of the anchor chain went in. It wasn't ^&**^% tied on to the boat! So we lost our anchor. I had to sleep with one eye open all night watching the swing of the boat and listening to the waves breaking on the rocks. Trying to judge whether the sound was getting louder or not to avoid getting out of bed. In the morning we saw the water was actually only about 7m deep. But it was freezing and no-one was willing to jump in and try and get it. So if anyone wants a free anchor there's one at Mayor Island in NZ :-)
My other half whilst crewing on a flying 15 in a strong breeze fell out!
Somehow the skipper managed to grab her arm and drag her back into the boat whilst still maintaining control of the vessel.
Most astounding is they still won the race!
Select to expand quoteechunda said..
My other half whilst crewing on a flying 15 in a strong breeze fell out!
Somehow the skipper managed to grab her arm and drag her back into the boat whilst still maintaining control of the vessel.
Most astounding is they still won the race!
Another funny Flying 15 story.
Used to sail ours from Yowie Bay to Jibon Beach for BBQs. I am steering and my mate is hiking out when the hiking strap let go.
Straight over the side into the drink. I turn around to look where he is and he is already climbing back on over the transom.. He went fully into the water but he was wearing a spray jacket and was that quick getting back on his T shirt under the jacket didn't even get wet.
Teaching a young lady to water ski years ago
She fell off and lost her bikini
Had to look the other way while she climbed back on board so she could use her towel
Back in the late 70's early 80's the only contact with the outside world during a race was the six hour skeds where you would report your position.
In one of the Westcoaster Melb./Hobart races we were coming around the bottom of Maatsuyker Island around 2400hrs.
Someone left a large torch beside the steering compass for the night (that's my story and I'm sticking to it ) and as it was raining and a bit rough we did not plot our position till dawn and discovered instead of heading E were had been sailing SSE . At the next sked we advised our position ,which was broadcast on 3aw radio so family could keep up with the race. Unbeknown to us the 3aw announcer prefaced our position in the race by saying words to the effect."we are not sure what serenity is doing but we think she may be heading for the South Pole for ice for the crays they picked up along the west coast" . I have to say that not only did it cost us a divisional placing we copped heaps in Hobart from family and fellow yachties and from fellow workers in the following year.
I have another launching story.
A while ago I had a Hartley TS16 on a break-back trailer. The problem was that when launching with the trailer broken, as soon as the weight of the boat left the last roller the trailer would flip back to its closed position with quite a bit of force and was taking chunks out of the bow of the boat.
So, one time I decided I wouldn't break the trailer and just pushed the boat back, off the trailer and in to the water. As soon as the stern was floating she started drifting to one side and was no longer running back in a straight line. This meant the bow jumped off the rollers and crashed down on to the back of the trailer before sliding begrudgingly in to the water. I had a quick check for damage, couldn't see anything, so pulled the boat over to the beach whilst I went and parked up the trailer and locked up the car.
By the time I got back to the boat I found she was awash with water! There was some damage that I hadn't seen in my first inspection - a fist sized hole right through the plywood hull below the water line. I reckon that was the quickest I've ever backed a trailer down a ramp. The boat was still floating, so I got her back to the trailer, but it was a bugger to winch back on to the trailer, and took about 45 mins for the water to drain.
Needless to say, there was no sailing that day. In fact - I didn't sail that boat again. I sold it and bought a fibre glass boat that lives on a mooring.
Here's some pics of the hole draining water, the bungs streaming water (for 45 mins) and the repair.
Select to expand quoteMcNaughtical said..
Trek and Chris,
So funny. Laughed till I cried.
Ta.. And it's all true, apart from the fact that I couldn't hear the host saying the last line - I could just feel it!
I've got a short launching story.
My Uncle when I was a kid built a timber ski boat in his bedroom in Oriental Bay NZ. No kidding. His bedroom was big enough. When the boat was ready he and his friends cut the front wall off the front of the house, got the boat out and put the boat on a trailer.
Off to Paremata a few km north of Wellington to launch it. I was very excited and was sailing a P class at the time which is a 7ft dinghy. (I remember how hard it was to handle somethimes in a breeze at Petone Beach :-) ). The idea of speeding in a speed boat was a thrill.
My uncle reversed the boat down the ramp which had a fair drop off on the end. I knew that because sometimes we went swimming along this particular beach. Any way uncle backed the trailer as far in as possible without the trailer wheels dropping off the ramp.
Then the friends and relo's pushed the boat off the trailer into the water. It went straight in no problem except the outboard motor must have been way to heavy because the back of the boat hit the water and went straight under. In no time the boat filled and sank!
I believe my uncle (now gone to the great ocean in the sky) fixed the floatation problem in the back of his boat but subsequently it was over powered for the strength of the transom he built and the outboard took the back off the boat during the next voyage and it sank again! I missed that one. My mother wouldnt let us anyway near uncles boat after the first escapade!
Come on Seabreezers we need some more stories .....
How about this one. I took my father and his partner sailing on my Mottle 33 Hagar II at the time. That was a pain in itself because father was in the navy 40 years ago and knew everything about sailing. Despite his experience being on big grey metal boats.
We were on the mooring at the end of the sail and time to get in the dinghy. I started to explain to father and partner how to do it but father jumped up and said no problem he knows. OK then. So father slides face first down the side of Hagar II and gets his feet into the dinghy. I could only wince. Then twists around and holds the gunwale of Hagar II ready for partner to get into dinghy.
Partner slides down side of boat face first too but only gets her feet onto the gunwale of the dinghy, shes a bit shorter. As she stands on the gunwale of the dinghy she leans back onto Hagars hull and her feet start pushing the dinghy away from Hagar. Father who is standing at the bow of the dinghy finds ah ohhh the dingy is moving away from the boat and he cant stop it.
For a split second father was stretched horizontally over the water, hands on Hagars toe rail and his feet in the dinghy trying to stop it moving away. As the dinghy moved away partner was stretching out over the water becoming horizontal as well and didnt have anything to grab having her back to Hagar .....
One split second later sploosh, then another sploosh they're both swimming and the dinghy is drifting away! It was one of those times it was better to let people who know better take charge, not!
Out racing with ex and crew on our JOG boat and each time we tacked we heard ..... roll roll roll, thud and did not matter which tack. In the end told ex to go down and secure whatever was loose as was starting to annoy me.
She comes back on deck laughing, each time we tacked the "rugrat" (at that stage maybe 12 months old) was rolling from side to side on the fwd berth, roll roll roll and thud as he hit the hull. Did not even wake up, but was duly secured.
He still sails albeit but having to be secured (unless tethered on) and still get a laugh at his expense.
Select to expand quotesamsturdy said..
I suppose you laughed and now he's cut you out of the will.????
Laugh is an understatement !!! The next funniest thing was helping them into their car totally soaking wet to drive home. Luckily they could see the funny side too. But yup, not in will any more.
dkds story above is very good :-)
My piece de resistance would have been hilarious had anyone witnessed it.
Docking in the Gladstone marina I tied off the bow, went astern, picked up the line, stepped onto the finger and put my weight behind an unattached rope falling neatly backwards into the adjacent vacant bay.
Dead sober.
How no one noticed I'll never know because when I surfaced the water was fair steaming off a very red face!
Japie, good one. One of my mates did something similar but is a bit shy to tell his story so I will.
We were sitting on his boat alongside a jetty having a few beers very late in the evening and he was playing guitar for us. Very pleasant.
He decides nature calls and excuses himself for a moment, then because there was a sailing club at the end of the jetty decided to head there and quickly because the club might be closing.
He jumped up, grabbed his guitar and stepped off the boat - on the wrong side. Sploosh!!!
Christmas Eve 2007. I have just started dating a new girl, so a mate invites us with her son and daughter, my brother, his partner and daughter for a day at The Basin (Pittwater).
We have a great day, but maybe get into a bit too much of the christmas spirit. Come time to go home, we go to start the engine to find it is seized solid. My brother is a shipwright, so he takes control and manages to sail the Phantom off the mooring (just near the rip) through all the moored and anchored boats in a gusty 20+ knot NE. For anyone who has not been to The Basin at Christmas, it is like Sydney Harbour on New Years Eve.
Somehow he manages to put it onto the mates mooring just near the beach at Clareville. All beautifully done and we are in awe at his boating skills. Then he gets into the dinghy with my girlfriend, bags of stuff and keys to the car and promptly capsizes the dinghy....
Traveling at night ( rule 1 broken) in french poly.
Had organize ahead a bon fire on beach too be burning to mark reef pass ( rule 2 trust others broken).
Wrong island, wrong fire, no reef pass....when I finally made shore ....it was a huge drug deal going down
Awkward
Much
Select to expand quoteChopesBro said..
Traveling at night ( rule 1 broken) in french poly.
Had organize ahead a bon fire on beach too be burning to mark reef pass ( rule 2 trust others broken).
Wrong island, wrong fire, no reef pass....when I finally made shore ....it was a huge drug deal going down
Awkward
Much
I can identify with wrong Island, wrong fire ....
In NZ we sailed all day, everyones tired. heading for bay we want to anchor in and find it. Locals have warned us about a rock in the middle of the bay called Pandora's Rock and I have the GPS position. So we motor in and carefully navigate around the rock and over to a side of the bay sheltered from the wind. Anchor, beers out, what a relief. In the morning, hmmmm that point on the bay entrance doesnt look like the one on the chart. Turned out to be wrong bay, no Pandoras Rock, but a different bay with different rocks. Gulp. Sweat!!
Our dinghy association has an annual award for silly/funny things members do during the year. Named after a sailor who was sailing on Botany Bay and fell out of his boat backwards while watching a Jumbo fly overhead.
Innaugural winners went to their first regatta at Lake Macquarie, 3 hours drive away and did very well. They were so happy, they forgot to take their boat home with them.
A couple drove overnight from Adelaide to a regatta at Lake Illawarra, some 16 hours. They arrived in the morning with a flat tyre on the trailer. We think that the tyre had been flat for a while as the tyre, and most of the rim, had disappeared. At the same regatta Chris249 arrived with a boat that appeared to have been stored under a mulberry bush. The sails were probably used as the roof on a chook coop. He still thrashed most of us anyway.
Last years winner arrived at the World Titles to find his crew had pulled out. By co-incidence, a lady competitor from the same club had the same problem. So she chartered out her boat and crewed for him. On the second day of racing, he was involved in a major port starboard incident, putting his nose through the other boats side. The other boat was his crews........
Lady skipper race at the club, wife hate sailing, my mate get his sandwich maker to be the skipper for the day. We give her the basics and there we go, first mark is out at see and you just see it tell her to point just port side of it to compensate to the wind, she keep drifting starboard I keep telling her to correct and point to port side of it, my mate is holding his laugh as bad as he can then she admit that she can't see the mark so she is pointing at the big with cloud at the horizon but the bloody thing moves all the time.
What happened (I heard from my mate a few weeks after) is that she was scared to go overboard so she did not put her contact lenses and as a tipical girl did not put her medical specs because they are not pretty! She had sworn my mate to secrecy!
Australia day 2007 my yacht came free of mooring in the Swan river and beached at Bicton beach, called DOT to get permission to use a courtesy mooring for a few days, re floated her and went to the mooring a few miles down river.
Mate and myself then removed all the alcohol aboard in the 2m tender and started to motor up the Swan, the river is very busy as all the boat ppl rush to the city for the fire work. Here we are mate and I motoring the small dinghy with a 3hp outboard as fast as possible (1.5 knt) looking pretty stoupid (2 blokes with 2 cartons of beer and a couple of bottle of vine and booz). Come along the water police boat they cross us.... look at us.... turn around and follow us for a few minutes.... come along side and one of the officer ask: You 2 are not going to the fire work surely We laughed and said : mate at that speed we will be there for next year Australia day celebration..... they laughed and took of!
