First one because i couldn't resist horribly cheezy:
"I told Whitey this was a baaaaahd idea"
Second one:
The big heads in New Zealand tried to cash in on the success of 'Wallace and Grommit' with slight altercations for cultural accuracy.
WTF are you lot staring at?
Never seen a Ducati before?
Yeah go on, take a photo.... mumble... mumble..... grrr
After 10 years of building vehicles nobody wanted to buy Ford Australia release pictures of the 2014 Falcon Ewet.
The Federal Government immediately pledges $100 billion in state aid to keep all 4 of the promised manufacturing jobs in the Victorian ALP heartland.
Bob Brown and his partner are shown driving the new Ewet out of Broome after upsetting the locals.
It is rumoured that the Ewet will only be for sale through the NBN, of which 92,000 people are now expected to be connected to by mid 2013, just 14% of the 650,000 predicted by the communications minister last year. In a statement, Senator Conroy is alledged to have said 'we, the ALP, never predicted 650,000 would be connected, that was mis-communication caused by the dial up network. When the NBN is completed sometime before 2150 we will be able to communicate these facts more effectively'
A person, believed by some to be a Ford spokesman was heard to add 'due to the Carbon Tax we have had to replace the current two tone horn with a manually operated air blaster. We realise this may not be a popular move and the current horn will remain in overseas models but the use of a manually operated horn in the Australian market will reduce global surface temperatures by up to 50% of the average temperature difference pre-1990 level, as measured by the Mars Curiosity Rover
A passer by, possibly named Adolf, was said to have muttered '47, I'll show them bastards' under his breadth. It is not known what this refered to but Tony Abbott, opposition leader, may release a statement claiming it was clear evidence of the untrustworthyness of the Gillard Government. This may be reported in some News Ltd media as a 107% swing to the right.
Almost immediately the AIS announced they would be using the new Ewet as a launch pad for the Australian Swim team in 2016.
Ford_Australia has been flooded by requests from a person calling themselves Mark_Australia requesting a remote control version of the Ewet, that can be used in the 2015 V8 supercar MOTORSPORT series.
(reuters)
Knowing full well it was against the law, Eugene went ahead and married Dolly anyway...and now he is on the lam for good...
It's all in the fine detail. Franke, like the original zipper inventor, failed dismally with the first sheepskin seat cover.
(Borat accent works better)
" I make fertiliser spreader for market garden.
See, there is hole in seat, just under sheep back-pussy.
I ride very furious, like so fast, and zee sheep she sh!t herself.
You like?"
Well I think this has been a good one.
I think the whole New Zealand wedding, wellingtons dragging behind the sidecar, velcro gloves etc. make a very funny romantic story.
Also had a good laugh at being on the lam, making her eyes water, the fertiliser....
So many good ones, but I am going to pass the batton to Bondalucci for bringing the numberplate in as a scoreboard, which I really liked.